How a life unravels

The past few days since my FIL "B" passed away have been tough. A constant battle between humour and sadness. Watching as the people who loved him most, pick up the pieces of what is left of the life that he lived. Sorting through papers. Smiling at photos. Remembering stories. Clinging to memories. Making sense of a loss and finding it's place in their day to day life.

Today, I had a moment where I felt like I couldn't breathe. I watched as Superman unravelled...mad at the world. Mad at his Grandpa. Mad at me. All of these big emotions bubbling up in a little body and not having the worldy experience of knowing what to do with them. So he lashes out at the people that he knows won't lash out back at him. He screams, hits, yells, until he's reduced to nothing but heaving sobs. He clings to me like I'm his lifeline. And we rock. And we sing. And we cry.