Finding that elusive balance of needs

So here's the thing...I think I'm in the middle of a crash. It was my fabulous mother who brought this to my attention. I'm fortunate that I have the kind of relationship with my parents where I can just unload it all. The good, bad, ugly, insanely embarrassing. Yeah, I don't hold back. In return, I get brutal honesty, a few inside jokes, and some movie quotes relating to my situation (thanks Dad).

I couldn't figure out what was up with me lately. I felt off. Really off. I was staying up late because I couldn't sleep, waking up feeling run down, I couldn't sit still but I wasn't motivated to do much. What does a girl do when she's feeling like this? Call her mother of course. That's when I had my ah-ha moment. For weeks I've been building up to two big events. Sending Ladybug off to school full time, and making the decision to formally pull Superman from school. Both of those things happened on the same day and that is when it all came crashing down. You have no idea how much you're holding it in, and holding it together, until you come to a point where you no longer have to do that anymore. I sent Ladybug off to school, I wrote to the school Admin first to let them know of my final decision, and then I wrote to the board team. Then Saturday appeared and I felt run down. I had a migraine and went to bed for 2.5 hours. It was all done. I didn't have to hold it together anymore because now I had more control over the situation.

So today was about finding out what I need to do to meet my own needs. It's very easy to throw all of yourself into homeschooling and your child's needs. I don't want to become that person. I want to find a balance between meeting Superman's needs (physically, emotionally, scholastically) and also meeting my own. This situation presented a great opportunity to dialogue with Superman about how I was feeling. He was incredibly supportive and he understood what I was feeling and we decided that I needed to set some goals for myself and he would help me meet my goals (reminding me to spend time doing XYZ, and being enthusiastic about me taking the time to do it...we're talking REALLY enthusiastic, as in bordering on cheerleader mode) and in return I would do the same for him (also in cheerleader mode).

My wonderful Mum suggested a variety of teas, crafts of my choice for my downtime and a trip to Chapters. I'm well stocked up on bath supplies so I'm good to go.

Ladybug is no longer coughing up a lung like she was yesterday (and my previous entry sounded persnickety...sorry. Wasn't meant to come across that way) and she's really excited to go back to school tomorrow. Although you try to get any information out of her about her day and it's like she took an oath of secrecy. I'm still working on that.