The other shoe dropped today

I should have known better to get to comfortable in "no phone call" days when my little man is out of the house. Just as I was finally starting to feel comfortable in my own skin, trying to relax and just enjoy the day with Ladybug, the phone rang.

First off, I have give the camp credit because they're very patient, thorough and are working hard with Superman. But he was biting and scratching. Transitional time...had to get out of the pool (his new favourite thing, especially since he's accomplishing so much and conquering personal fears) and he had three meltdowns throughout the morning. So it was a good chat with the director. She's awesome. I have absolutely no complaints about her or her staff. In fact I have only praise. It's just still hard to get the call.

We talked about triggers, environment, what was behind the behaviour, what has worked in the past to help him through it. I like the fact that his 1:1 counsellor M, is fun, but firm. That's good for Superman. We think he might be testing boundaries. So we agreed that I would stay on call for the afternoon and if it continued, I would come and pick him up.

So it was a good conversation. I hung up, put Ladybug down for her afternoon nap and had a good cry. I have so much anxiety over his day. So much of it is out of my control and yet I struggle because I want to make it better for him. I do everything every professional tells me to do, and I know he can't put any of it into practice if he's not given the chance, but I still panic a bit when he leaves the front door because neither of us knows what's in store for the day and when the phone rings, my heart jumps and I feel instantly nauseous. It's a hard cycle. I just pray that eventually it will become consistently easier, for both our sakes.

In the end, M said that after Superman's second talk with the director, he was great at listening and had a fun afternoon. So that in itself is a blessing and a bonus.

Tomorrow is a new day. I hope it will get better.