A tender moment

I was in his room helping him get ready for bed. The whole process takes about 90 mins. He has to have things a certain way in order for him to go to sleep so it's quite labour intensive. While we were getting things set up I was singing the song "Baby Mine" from Dumbo. I've been singing it to him since I was pregnant with him.

After we set everything up then I crawl into bed with him for stories, a back massage and then I wrap him in his weighted blanket. As I was singing I wasn't really paying much attention to what was going on with him. So I turned around to get him situated in his bed and he was curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed (only in his spiderman undies...how cute is that!) anyway...I thought he was fake sleeping and I was starting to feel frustrated so I told him to get up to his pillow and lay down properly so we could do the rest of our night time routine. So he did and when I saw his face, he was crying!

So I curled up next to him and said "honey...what's wrong?" And he said "I don't know. You were singing to me and my eyes filled up with tears but I don't know why."

Ok, so the water works started on my end as well and he kept trying to wipe away his tears. So he snuggled into me and I thought I was going to melt into the bed.

It's a tender moment in itself...but this is why it's so amazing to me. Superman can't relate to a lot of emotions. Given that the front of his brain (which is responsible for all of your emotions) doesn't function properly, he doesn't make a lot of connections in the same way most kids do.

This type of moment has never happened. Ever. He'll cry because he's hurt, sad, lonely. But he doesn't cry because of an emotional connection. That's what happened tonight even though he doesn't know it. I wish I could bottle it because I don't know when it will happen again. But to see that little glimpse into the possibility that it exists, was beautiful. It's moments like that when I realize that I was meant to be a mother. The days can be so incredibly hard, but I wouldn't want to be doing anything else than what I'm doing right now.

For anyone who doesn't know the song, Alison Krauss does a great version of it. These are the lyrics.

Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine
Little one when you play
Don't you mind what they say
Let those eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine
If they knew sweet little you
They'd end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd give just for
The right to hold you
From your head to your toes
You're not much, goodness knows
But you're so precious to me
Cute as can be, baby of mine