Decompressing at the cottage

We returned last weekend from spending 2 weeks at a cottage we rented along Lake Erie. It was beautiful! My side of the family lives in the area so we had day visitors and some over night visitors as well.

The first 24 hours were the hardest on Superman. He had several meltdowns and two rages which resulted in several bloody scratch marks on my arms. I hate when it gets to the point where he has to be restrained but it's for his protection as well as mine. In the end, when I sit behind him, my legs crossed over his, and my arms crossed over his, he tries to thrash, screaming how much he hates me and he hates everything and everyone around him. Then the anger turns to grief, to guilt, to sadness and then he is racked with sobs. Continuous, heart wrenching sobs that seem to overtake his entire little body. And I cry with him. It's exhausting for both of us.

It was tough on my Mum who was visiting from GA for 5 days and has never seen that happen before. She stands in awe as I walk through the process with Superman who eventually is calmed down and resting on the couch.

We had some down points...argument with my MIL about Superman and his behaviour which we resolved the following day but has changed Superman's relationship with her for awhile. Some transistional issues, some bullying type behaviour towards his little sister. But it's interesting to sit back and look at the situation as if it were an out of body experience because each time I can see factors that were glaring warning signs of the behaviour to come and ways that I could have handled it better. Everything seems to be a trial by fire these days.

Some of the high points were Superman's accomplishments in the lake. He has sensory issues with water and didn't want to go in if the water was deeper than his ankles. Then we met Eddie.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a260/Canuk1975/IMG_1901_4_1.jpg

Eddie is a yellow lab who lived a few houses down. He loves to fetch sticks from the water and he took an immediate liking to Superman. So every day we were out and Eddie saw us, he would bring Superman a new stick and the two would play. Eventually, Superman wanted to be in the water with Eddie and all fears were lost.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a260/Canuk1975/IMG_1914_9_1.jpg

Eddie always stayed close to Superman when they were in the water and when Superman got scared, he grabbed onto Eddie who helped them both swim back to shore. This is what has spurred us on to getting a dog of our own. You just can't put a price on the theraputic benefits that a dog can have in his life.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a260/Canuk1975/IMG_1906_7_1.jpg

Ladybug had a blast as well. Every morning when she woke up, she would crawl to the french doors over looking the water and ask to go out. She had no fear of the water at all and if you held her hand she would go march right in up to her armpits!

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a260/Canuk1975/IMG_1798_1_1.jpg

Since we've been home, it's been a little tough. More transistional issues, but Superman starts daycamp tomorrow and they've had Autistic kids before so they're prepared to handle his needs. He went last year and loved it so I'm expecting good things this year too.

As a Mum who is feeling burned out right now, I have to say that I'm looking forward to it as well.

Maybe we're finally starting to settle down?

Superman has been home from school for 5 days and I think we're starting to head into easier territory. He seems to be settling more easily now that I have a predictable routine. I find that if we make time to run errands every morning (that's when both kids are at their best) then the rest of day goes more smoothly. The afternoon Ladybug has her 2 hr nap and Superman plays outside or plays with me. It works out well.

Tomorrow, my MIL is going to pick him up at noon and take him to the Science Centre, then back to her house for a sleepover. That will be a fabulous break for both of us because he feels safe with her and she's so good to him and for him. I seriously lucked out in the in-law department.

I haven't told him yet. If I tell him today, he'll have a hard time sleeping. Monday night it took 3 hours and several earth shattering meltdowns for him to calm down enough to stay in bed. Last night was great. He only got out once to come and find me before falling asleep. Then was up from 2-2:30am with anxiety.

I think we're finally managing to find our way through the maze of what is Superman, what is Autism and what is typical 7 year old behaviour. When it's all jumbled together, it's hard to tell which end is up. I think DH and Superman struggle more, than Superman and I do. DH has a demanding job and there are trust issues with Superman when it comes to people other than me in his life. But we're committed as a family to find a way to make it work, and so we will.

I signed up for the Autism Symposium in Toronto, in October. I'm so excited! To hear Anthony Atwood, Carol Gray and Temple Grandin speak all in a matter of days, is a dream come true. DH and my Mum will be coming with me. I can't wait!!