Week one is complete

I think Superman and Mr. S are starting to figure each other out. Mr. S has a natural way of sensing a child's needs and predicting the best course of action.

Superman has had some meltdowns but not nearly as many as he did at his old school and each time Mr. S seems to file bits and pieces of info to better understand Superman's thought processes and triggers.

The school will be putting in a claim for additional support. If Superman is overstimulated or triggered by something in his environment, his meltdowns can get agressive so it would be better for everyone if they had someone consistent working directly with him. We're not doing any integration at the moment. We've got to get him settled first.

Each day he accomplishes something new and they're making problem solving a priority right now. As Mr. S says "right now he can't problem solve his way out of an open field but he's an extrememly bright boy." which is really bang on. Superman needs to learn those types of tools like he would reading and writing. So each day he seems to gather more confidence, more skills, and more opportunities to put it all into practice.

One thing I find so remarkable is how well he takes to Mr. S. He adores him. We've gone from pitching a fit at his old school because he wanted to be home, to pitching a fit at his new school because he doesn't want to leave. ;)

As promised, no phone calls home. Anything that happens at school is dealt with at school and it's handled proactively. Superman isn't told he's "bad" or made to feel unwanted. They get him to try and put his feelings into words and to know that if he's doing something, then he had a need and having needs, and fulfilling them are okay.

Mr. S is a bit of a rennassaince man when it comes to his approach with his boys and it's working. If a child is having a meltdown and is on the floor and needs deep joint compression to wokr out some of his anxiety, you're not like to find him AND his teacher sitting ontop of a row of filing cabinets. But that's exactly what happened one day. By jumping up to the filing cabinet, the deep joint compression helps Superman's brain to organize itself due to the added stimulation and to have Mr. S up there with him was not only for safety, but also for support. Then Mr S gave him deep muscle pressure. Mr S saw the need, and fulfilled it the best way they could given the situation they were in at the time. That's why his boys love him. As Superman says "At my new school, it's okay to be yourself."

Day one is done!

We survived day one at Superman's new school. Phew. He was so excited about going back to school and I had every confidence that he would be in good hands, and I wasn't disappointed.

His day was a mixed bag. Highs and lows but that's to be expected. He had a big meltdown in gym but that wasn't surprising. Gym class has always been one of his hardest times of days. His teacher handled them very effectively (according to Superman who, even though he had to be restrained, thinks the best part of his day is that Mr. S is an awesome teacher) so that speaks volumes!

He did well when he had to sit to do work. Right now it looks like he has to do 10 mins of work, then gets a 1 min break, then back to 10 mins of work etc. That went over very well with Superman who said he was working hard to get his 10 mins of work done so that he could get his 1 min of free time. ;)

I think that as a parent, there's always going to be a part of me that feels awful when he has a meltdown but I think I have to get myself used to the fact that that happens with little guys like Superman and especially when it involves a huge transistion. But eventually they will get further and farther between.

Another highlight to his day was when he ran into Mr. G in the hallway. Mr G used to be his gym teacher at his old school, but he transferred to Superman's current school to work in ESL. Funny meeting between the two of them.

So that is that. We made it through day one. I feel kind of weird. Today felt empty in a way because I'm so used to having him home for the majority of the day and I still haven't developed that thick skin that I need knowing that meltdowns still happen at school.

At least I know that when they DO happen, he's being well taken care of.

Bright new beginnings

Tomorrow we start our journey at the new school. I can't sleep because I'm so nervous and excited.

On Thursday, DH and I went to the school for a tour and to meet with Superman's new teacher. I was instantly drawn to him. He's open, knowledgable, funny, and so incredibly passionate about the kids in his class.

I knew almost immediately that this is where we're supposed to be. The more he talked, the more excited I got because I finally felt like I was leaving my son with someone who was capable of bringing out the best in him. Some who knew how to handle him in a meltdown, someone who could teach him new tools to handle his challenges, a person who would see his gifts and truly appreciate them. Above all, someone who respected him for who he is and wouldn't try to force him to be like the norm. What an incredible gift that his teacher is all of those things and more.

The entire school has a feeling of inclusiveness and acceptance. ALL of the children are taught that we all have needs that are differnet from our peers and that it's okay to be different and to fulfill those needs. Such a refreshing and positive attitude.

On Friday we took Superman in for his tour and he also loved it. We stayed for almost 90 mins and he saw every room that he would be in. The grade 3 class that he will eventually spend some time in when he integrates, we walked the school yard, the place where he'll be picked up and dropped off, the bathrooms, the gym, the library. He saw it all and he was thrilled.

So now he's fast asleep in bed, very excited for the morning and to be back at school. I know there will be a honeymoon period before some of the transistional issues become apparent.

I hope for the best and now I know that no matter what comes our way, he will be supported and respected at school. That above all, is what matters most. He'll be okay.

Good news to report!

Today was our big meeting at the school and it could not have gone any better than it did! Everyone on the team was fabulous. So proactive and enthusiastic.

It opened up with the SpEd Coordinator telling me how proactive and support and patient I've been. I think she may have been sleuthing around and talking to the staff members about me before the meeting and (thankfully) heard nothing but good things.

I loved her right off the bat. She was so genuine and knowledgable and kind hearted. And she knows her stuff. So I did my presentation about Superman and her and the rep from the Autism team were laughing because he's such a blatantly obvious Aspergers kid and they got a chuckle out of his personality quirks.

His EA from last year came as well which was awesome. Her and I always saw eye to eye and worked well together so I loved that she was there to talk about everything Superman...his challenges, triggers, joys, accomplishments, she said it all. So in the end, the team had a very good overview of what he's like.

SpEd Coord said that it's glaringly obvious that he can't be in a mainstream class and she took to heart everything I said about how hard last year was. The Autism Rep also has a boy (who's in his teens) who's Autistic and she said after the meeting (we were chatting outside) how she had to hold back tears when I talked about the phone calls and the stress when the school constantly is after you about your child and you can't do anything about it but constantly come and pick him up and how that affects him. She was in the same boat at one point. So it was really great to get her opinion on what services the board offers not only from a professional standpoint, but also as a parent.

I feel like the hugest weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It's like for the first time in 2 years, I'm able to catch my breath. My neighbour stopped me today to tell me how great I looked when I was walking back from the meeting. That's because I finally feel like I'm not carrying the weight of the world. I have some support to help us with our son.

Finally.

Just got the call an hour ago that it's been confirmed that Superman is being placed in an Aspergers class! That was the best case scenario and it's official! The SpEd Coord met with the teacher and principal at that school, told them all about superman and they said "We want him! He'll be a great fit!"

What a refreshing perspective since I'm so used to hearing, well we don't know, he's got a lot of issues, he needs a lot of support, blah blah blah. She said I'm going to love the school!!

So he'll be bused in, go full days, and stay for lunch. How exciting is that! Now I can spend my days with Ladybug and not have to worry about constant calls from the school because he'll be in a class, with a teacher, who's expertise is Aspie kids.

I couldn't possibly be more thrilled!

We have progress!

I got a call from the school and we have a meeting set up for Tuesday at noon. Finally a step forward! This is the first time I've had a chat with the new principal and I really liked her. She sounded very positive and proactive. Definitely a switch from last year.

One of the first things she said to be was "I'm sorry that Superman is still at home and not in school." Sounds small, but it's huge. No one has ever said to me. They've tried push the issues back on us and make it sound like it is OUR probablem that he is still at home. She however took responsibility for the school and that meant a lot. Most of it isn't even her fault to begin with. I lay a lot of blame on the hospital and the fact that lied about when they sent the report. Or how it was written in June and never mailed. If the school had received the report in June, Superman would have a placement.

So think good things for us on Tuesday. I hope this is the beginning of something positive. We're about due for it.

I feel like I'm on strike

Day 3 - Superman is still at home. No end in sight to the lack of support at school.

I feel like I'm striking. All that's missing is our picket line, and circle march complete with signs and catchy songs.

Hmmm...maybe if we get that bored, it would be an option. The kids would probably think it was fun. *insert an eye roll here*

Living an authentic life

Do you ever wonder if you're living an authentic life?

If you honour all of the parts that make you whole?

I don't think I am.

100% Angel

That's the message my MIL wanted to tell me about Superman. Dear friends of ours were moving on Thursday so she came over to watch the kids so I could go over and help. DH was already at their new place as he had the chance to take the day off to help. Things between Superman and my MIL had been a little rocky since they had a falling out in July and they've been trying to get back on track. Well they had themselves a little talk and they made a deal. Superman wouldn't use the voice that MIL didn't like and MIL in turn wouldn't use the voice that he didn't like.

So I left them and headed out to my friend's house. MIL called me today to say that Superman was 100% an angel. She was floored that there were not any meltdowns, any power plays, nothing. What a relief. Superman told her he was going to go to bed that night and dream about all the fun they had together.

Ladybug is also keeping quite busy. She's a lean mean walking machine. She started a week ago and is quite impressed and proud of herself.

Right now the kids are playing together on the floor and laughing like crazy people. Man, I love my kids.

Another step forward

I got a call from my friend in SpEd. Superman will not be starting school on the 5th. There's no support or placement for him at this time. Instead, I will be having a meeting next week with the SpEd teacher, SpEd Co-ordinator, the principal and myself.

They want to hear more about Superman and it will also be my opportunity to share with them how the school failed us last year. I can finally tell someone with some sort of power how last years lack of support affected him. That he would throw up from the stress when he got home, how he went from being a child who LOVED school to dreading it. How my whole life had to be put on hold for a year because I never knew when I would get a call from the school and could no follow through with the plans I had for Ladybug and her parks and rec classes. I can tell them how I had a choice to either put Superman in school part time or leave completely. How I was backed into a corner and it should have been a short term solution to give the staff the time to tackle the bigger picture and figure out what isn't working.

Thankfully, my friend is my voice behind closed doors and she knows exactly how I feel. So I'm looking forward to the meeting. After we talk, I should be presented with options for placement.

I'm also working on the letter I'll be sending to the hospital about how THEY dropped the ball and I wouldn't be in this position, without support for Spencer, if they had sent me the report when they said they would.

I just want to get Superman settled so that he can go back to enjoying school and we can all get on with life.