My Little Corner of the World

Thoughts on raising and homeschooling a special needs child who has Aspergers, Tourettes, and ADHD. The life of a domestic goddess. Documenting the life of Superman (11 yrs) and Ladybug (4 yrs).

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

It was a good day!

Today was good. Actually, it was fabulous. Ms. D was back at school so Superman was able to go as well. A temperorary CYW (Child & Youth Worker) has been assigned to the class but we don't know for how long. She just finished her CYW program and did her placement in the Aspergers class last year with Mr. S. So we know she comes with good influence! It's nice that she has some history with the boys. I don't just worry about my boy, I worry about all the boys and the inconsistencies they've been up against. I'm just codependent that way.

Ms. D said Superman had an amazing day right from the beginning all the way to the end. When I picked him up he was happy and relaxed. The last 48 hours he's been very balanced which is a nice change.

Yesterday he and ladybug had a really good time together. They were playing in Superman's room and pretending to be robots. I peek in the door and they're standing there in their pj's with buckets on their heads. Superman is saying (in his very robotic voice of course) "Hi. I. Am. Robot. Superman." and Ladybug responds with "Hi. I. Am. Robot. Tee-tee" I thought I was going to pee myself laughing because that's all they did for 10 mins and they thought is tons of fun.

Tonight I'm off to the Geneva Centre for a course in communication. Hubby will be home on kid duty and they're going to be carving a pumpkin. I am ashamed to say that this will be the first time either has ever carved a pumpkin. For some reason HB and I always forget about it until the night of Halloween. This year, however, we have our act together. Hmmm...that reminds me..I still have yet to buy the candy. Must add that to my to do list.

Finally, I want to wrap up on a bit of a sad note. My dear friend Willis passed away 2 years ago today. He was my mentor, my friend, someone I have trusted since I was a very little girl....and he was like a father to me. He was my Dad's best friend and our families have been intertwined for generations and that has continued. His daughter, my dearest friend Sarah, is my soul sister.

Today I woke up with a heavy heart because I still miss him so much. There was a time this morning that I sat in my van, in the sun, thinking of him (he was such an avid outdoorsman) and I felt like I couldn't quite catch my breath. And then on the radio the song "Don't Worry Be Happy" came on and I couldn't stop laughing. He was crazy like that. Always the one with the lame joke, the big stories...and the "did you hear the one about the...." whatever it was. He made a very big impact on the world and in the lives of so many people and although I miss him like crazy, I am a better person for having known him.

Peace be the journey Willis. We love you.

Monday, October 29, 2007

I can't sleep

I've been awake since 4:30am. I'm stressed because I know that when Superman wakes up in 2 hours I have to tell him that no he can't go to school today. Why you ask? Because there's not enough support. Just like there wasn't enough support on Friday. Most kids would be thrilled with an unexpected four day weekend. Not mine. He goes to bed talking about how excited he is for school.

So what do I do? Have to fire off another email to the principal and the teacher to explain my reasons for why he's home and to find out what the status is on the secondary EA. I hate this. I just want consistency. For my kid, and for me. It throws everyone's lives upside down when you can't plan anything because you don't know if he'll be home or not. And the times when you do decide to throw caution to the wind and get together for a preschool aged playdate, you have to cancel. Katie's over 2 years old and I've made it to two playdates. Every.other.single.one I've had to bail on. Mom and tot classes? Same deal. She's been registered in 4 programs over the years has made it to two swim lessons and one kindergym. She starts school in January and then the one on one time I have with her is gone. I've only had two weeks of it with her since she was born.

Maybe I sound selfish but I envy other people who can just send their kid off to school and go on about their lives. It feels like we're always fighting for the smallest of things. It gets old. It gets tiring. You have moments of discouragement. And next thing you know, you're blogging at 5am because you have nothing better to do.

Sigh.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Grab another cup. I have more to say.

So after 2 mos of stress and waiting for the other shoe to drop...which it did several times....I was given a huge gift in the form of a phone call.

We all know how much I love Mr. S...teacher from last year. And yes I still like to give him a hard time about moving out to BC. But being the fabulous guy that he is, he's made himself available as a sounding board to me since he left. And he also worked behind the scenes to try and set up a bit of support for Superman. Sneaky guy, but bless him for doing so.

He put me in contact with someone that can really help us, his sister J. She is the one who comes in to do workshops with the staff and teach them about the approach that Mr, S uses in the classroom. She's widely respected in the medical community. So the school has been asking her Sueprman specific questions to seek her input but it was unethical for her to comment on them because she didn't know Superman very well, or know his history, or have my permission to advocate for us. So her and Mr. S came up with the idea that if she took me on as a client in her private practice, then she would be able to advocate for us. She called me the other night and we were on the phone for nearly 2 hours. She's just like Mr. S and I LOVE her!! We clicked right away and I feel that she is the perfect professional to work with the school on our behalf. It takes a lot of pressure off of me because she'll be doing the talking and the school will be contacting her for ideas to help Superman instead of relying solely on me. I should see a drastic reduction in phone calls!

She's also going to do a 10 hour neuropsychological assessment on Superman. It will be over the course of 2-3 days and she'll be assessing every part of his brain functioning. She's also doing a 2.5 hour interview with me to go over his entire history from the day he was born until now. Then she'll be interviewing the principal, his teacher, his EA that we love, and Mr. S since he knows Superman so well. She'll put all of that into a very long a detailed report with a ton of reccomendations. She says she writes her reports in English, no talking over the head, no medical jargon etc. She makes it easy to read which will ensure that the school DOES read it. After the report we'll all be sitting down for a meeting to discuss the outcome and make a plan of action. So the meeting takes place first. Then the neuropsych assessment is in February. She's so fabulous about taking us on because she's on mat leave right now until the end of January.I didn't fall asleep until 11pm because my brain was going over everything we talked about and it was all so positive! She said the reason that she wants to do the detailed report is because she want's something in Superman's school file that is positive about the issues that he has. That uses direct quotes from him about how much he wants to be in school but sometimes he gets overwhelmed. Things like that. But I love that she's going to be working with him so intensely that she'll know every little thing about him. Literally, how his brain works.

The amazing thing was that when I finally got to sleep, I was in such a deep sleep and when I woke up, I felt like I had slept for 3 days and I was so well rested and relaxed. I can't remember the last time I felt like that.

Funny thing...we were talking about how much money she could make if we could clone Mr. S since he's so darn good at his job and just as we were in a fit of laughter about it, her phone suddenly died. We decided that was God's way of saying "NO CLONING!" Oh well. Guess she'll just have to make her millions another way.

So I am feeling cautiously optimistic. I have absolute faith in J. Just hoping for more faith in Superman's current teacher. He's going to be given a gift here when he gets that report. I don't want J to do any hand holding. He'll either sink or swim. He'll either get it or he won't. I pray that he does because he certainly has the capabilities but the clincher is that he needs to remember what he's learned when the boys fall apart. That's when you HAVE to be on your game and so far, that's not happening. Time will tell.

Grab a coffee. This is a long one.

Thank you to all of the people who have sent me notes, wondering where I've disappeared to and if we're okay. Yes, we're all still hanging in there! I had to walk away for awhile because things at school weren't going so well and I didn't want to come on here and post away with all the negative stuff. Although then I regret that because when I look back at past posts, it's good to see how far we've come. So here's the recap...

Things started off pretty good at school and then it all sort of, well, fell apart pretty rapidly. Superman began the school year very balanced and eager. He was excited to go back. I think the issue, in my opinion, was that the school wasn't really on their game. They were hit with some unexpected problems which sort of spiralled out of control and affected everyone in the Aspergers classroom, not just Superman.

Let's recap the main players.

Mr. M ~ Nice guy. Very eager to learn and is definitely dedicated to the class and to the boys. Has the potential to do great things if he doesn't lose sight of the main goal. This is his first teaching contract so he's pretty green and frankly, he has huge shoes to fill. The problem we've come across with Mr. M is he's all about pushing the curriculm and not realizing that sometimes you have to forget the ABC's and just focus on the needs of the student. I've told him several times that if Superman's anxiety is high, he won't learn a thing. When he can trust the people around him, and he can manage his energy, he can do great things. When things are calm, Mr. M remembers that. When one of the kids starts to melt, he forgets the language and the approach and it all falls apart.

Ms. D ~ The fabulous EA from last year that Superman adores. She can get more out of him than any other person at the school. He trusts her, he works hard for her. Unfortunately Ms. D has extenuating health issues which makes her attendance unreliable at times. When she's out, she's out for very valid reasons. But there's no one to cover for her.

Ms. B - The principal. You don't get any better than her. She thinks outside the box. She wants to mold the program to the student, not the other way around. When she retires she will be greatly missed. Love her.

Ms. W - EA #2. She was awful. Oh wait...was that my outside voice? She transferred in from a local highschool and obviously didn't want to be in the program. She was cold, uninterested, an eye roller and she huffed and puffed a lot when Superman melted. Yeah, that's going to help *insert my own little eye roll here* I'm sure she's a really nice woman, just not a fit for these boys. Obviously she realized that and she left. With one days notice.

Ms. E - EA #3. She lasted 6 days then stopped showing up for work. Nice. Oddly enough it wasn't due to Superman. She bonded well with him but it was the other boys who wouldn't give her the time of day. Can you blame them? People are coming in and out of that classroom like a revolving door. Plus, they're edging on 10. They're more horomonal this year and if they don't know you, they'll give you a run for your money. This puts Ms. D (dream EA) in one heck of a position because she's the only one they know well outside of the teacher so she's constantly pulled in a variety of directions.

Then there's the VP of the school. I've found that I can only be in her presence a very short period of time before I feel like I'm going to lose it. She has no clue about how to work with these boys. One day I show up to pick up Superman early because he has an appointment with his developmental pediatrician so his anxiety has been high all day because he knows he's going hom an hour early and frankly, he doesn't like it.

So he's in the little room (he's 1:1 with his EA in a library storage room because being in the Aspergers class is overstimulating right now and they have no other rooms availble). Anyway...so there is his wrapped up in his weighted blanket, obviously been crying for awhile. Ms. D left to be with Katie when I got there so I could transistion Superman out easily. Sitting there is also the VP, who wouldn't leave. And just when I would get Superman settled and we could move out of the room, she pestered him with question after question after question...would you like to bring your lunch? Do you want it in the bag? Or your backpack? Can you pick up your backpack? Where do I put this? Should I give it to Ms. B or put it in the drawer? Why are you crying again? Cripes lady! Shut up. (no, I didn't say that. It was my inside voice but I was ready but I was doing the respectful route blah blah blah) and so it continued until I interrupted her and just told Superman to come with me. The moment I walked out of the school, I turned to Ms. D and she said "I know." Ha! Please dear lord do not let that VP be the one to take over the school when Ms. B retires. I'll faint.